While watching MMK, I heard Xian Lim saying "Si Nanay, alam kung kelan ako pagod, kung kelan ako malungkot." Ayun. Tears roll down my cheeks. Hahaha. Emo much? Sorry! I guess no one can truly understand what I feel. Kasi hndi naman lahat kayo may cancer nanay. :(
Si Mommy, sya yung kakwentuhan ko. Kaming dalawa yung nabe'baby talk pag nasa mood kami mglambingan. Para din kaming twins, hindi kumakain yung isa pag wala yung isa or hndi natutulog kung hndi pa matutulog yung isa. For 17 years existence of my life, sya yung katabi ko matulog. Hahaha. Yep. Seventeen years. 18 na ko nung humiwalay ako matulog skanya. We hold hands when we sleep and she hugs me from behind. Minsan nga pinikpik nia ko ee. :( Namimiss ko na yun.
Yesterday, I was at the hospital. I was kinda in the mood to make lambing. So, kinukulit ko sya ng kinukulit. Pinipilit ko sya patawanin. Hindi effective. Masama daw yung damdam. Sabi ko pinapatawa lang kita. Baka kaya hndi ka gumagaling kasi hindi masya yang buhay mo. She grind and said bka nga. Narealize ko parang napaka'failure namin. Ako. Parang wala akong nagawa para pasayahin yung mom ko. :((
Ngayon ko lang sya namiss ng ganito. Si mommy lang kasi yung may alam talaga kung malungkot ako. Pag hindi na ko makausap sa loob ng 3 tatlong araw, nagtatanong na yan kung anong problema ko. :( Pag dumadating ako from school tpos direcho na ko sa room. magtatanong yun kung baba ka pa?, kakaen ka? matutulog ka na? Pag pumapasok ako sa bhay ng makasimangot, magtatanong na yun kung pagod ako. Hindi sya nakakalimot.
These are the simple things I took for granted. i wish I had all the time to make her smile, laugh and take care of her. It's been 2 years since we celebrated Mother's day without you. I still miss you Mom. I want to see, touch and hug you so bad. :( How I wish your still with me. With us.