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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

From Lovers to Friends.

Here are 5 tips on how to regain the friendship after a relationship. :)


1. Set boundaries.
You guys didn't declared that you're together but you both feel that you are more than friends less than lovers. At this point, you forgot how to act like normal friends since you've become used to skirting the line in your relationship.  Reflect on what changes happened in your relationship before and after you saw each other as romantic prospects. Be aware of the boundaries you used to have, and work toward getting back to them--that means, if you were cuddly as almost-lovers, reduce the touchy-feely moments! There will be residual awkwardness at first, but if both of you are determined, you will eventually get to the point where you’re comfortable with each other again. 


2. Give yourself time.
Romantic feelings don’t vanish overnight. Even if you were never officially a couple, that doesn’t mean your feelings weren’t real. If you need time to let go, consider giving each other space first. Saving your friendship is important, of course, but you can be friends only when both of you are ready. If you still feel hurt or overwhelmed whenever he’s around, don’t force it. Gradually work yourself back into his life as a friend after you’re sure you’ve let go. 


3. Start thinking of him/her as a friend.
Stop referring to him mentally as “the one that got away” and actively start going back to calling him your friend. This will put things in perspective and get you in the right frame of mind, so that the next time you hang out with each other, you’re sure you’re not doing it for all the wrong reasons. 


4. Hangout together-- but bring barkada with you.
The best way to ease your way back into a friendly routine is to hang out as a group like you used to pre-MU days. That way, mutual friends are there to act as buffers when things get awkward between the two of you. This also helps remind you how you two can still have fun without the added baggage of a past dating history. 


5. Be happy for him/her and for yourself also.
If you’re sincere about your desire to stay friends, the rest of the process should be easier. Although you don’t have to go as far as setting him up with other people (don’t push him, especially if he’s not ready!); encourage him if he decides to get back into the dating game or explore other prospects. This goes the same for you too. If you’re interested in someone else, there’s nothing stopping you from going for it.